I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
