nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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