I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
