But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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