This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
