he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
