id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Another day, another engagement, another cat
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
