some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
