ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
