i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
