I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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