but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
