Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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