Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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