You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
