Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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