I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
