hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
