super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
