Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Randomize
