why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
