I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
