they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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