16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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