You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
