hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
