Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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