my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
