And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
