Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
