They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
