I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
