My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
