And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
