Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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