I must be too annoying 4 u.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
