Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
