Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
