Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
