are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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