Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
