God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
