I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
