It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Everything about him screamed your future.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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