i wish my penis had a tongue
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
