You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
