You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
