don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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