why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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