when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
