It's a beautiful day for a hangover
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
