She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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