is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
