Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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