You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
