I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize