I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
