it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize