I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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