I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
