Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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