Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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