He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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