someone threw a dead crab at me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
