2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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