Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I understand Curling. That high.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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