I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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