You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
