Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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