just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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