Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you win again, gameday.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
